| Location | West Lothian |
| Age | 2 years |
| Date of Birth | 09/09/2003 |
| Date of Death | 24/10/2005 |
| Visitors | 11,042 since 03/08/2007 |
| Creator |
THANK YOU FOR VISITING THIS WEBSITE TO OUR PRECIOUS SON MATTHEW. YOUR MESSAGES OF UNDERSTANDING & SUPPORT ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED. IN PARTICULAR, I HAVE FOUND THE SUPPORT OF FELLOW BEREAVED PARENTS SO IMPORTANT, AND TCF UK, A CHARITABLE SUPPORT GROUP FOR BEREAVED PARENTS (REGARDLESS OF THE AGE OF THE CHILD) HAS BEEN INVALUABLE IN HELPING US COPE WITH OUR LOSS. IF YOU FEEL YOU WOULD BENEFIT FROM THIS GROUP -THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS UK-HAVE A LOOK AT THEIR WEBSITE, OR CALL THEIR HELPLINE FOR DETAILS OF YOUR LOCAL GROUP CONTACT. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
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OUR STORY....
We found out we were pregnant at the beginning of January 2003 - a much longed for 1st child. I had a dream pregnancy and went into labour naturally 9 days early on the 9th September 2003. Our son Matthew was born an hour after arriving at the hospital at 10.39pm weighing 7lb 13oz, and we were so elated - making all the usual phonecalls to grandparents, taking photos etc.
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A few hours later just as we were being moved up to the post labour ward, one of the midwifes noticed that Matthew was a bit "dusky" and tried to give him some oxygen. It seemed to work until every time they took the oxygen away, he would lose his colour again. The staff decided to move him to special care for more oxygen and his dad went with him. After a few minutes they returned and said there was a problem - Matthew had been put in an incubator and a chest x-ray had revealed a problem with a heart valve (basically while he was inside me, he didnt use his lungs, but as he started to breathe on his own the bypass valve started to close and the valve that should have kicked in wasnt there or was damaged!)
Anyway, after several hours of sitting on bar stools in special care we were told in the early hours of the morning that he required surgery and had to be transferred to the Royal Hospital for sick children at Yorkhill in Glasgow.
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There was no room in the neonatal ambulance so we had to go ahead by car, and waited for hours and hours with no news - no one seemed to know what was happening! Finally, we heard sirens and just knew that he had arrived - it turned out he had stopped breathing on the way and they had had to go back...
They had to stabilise him but finally we were able to see him in the special care unit at the Queen mums. He stayed there for 6 days while he waited for his operation and we were able to stay on the ward 24/7 and were able to help with his cares, washing, changing nappies etc though he was being fed by a tube. Being able to just walk down the corridor at 2am to check on him was such a blessing.
On day 6 he had his operation, and despite several hairy moments - including a further op on day 8 to remove a blood clot - he was finally well enough to move up to a ward, to breathe and feed for himself and then after 6 weeks come home. We were ecstatic - our baby boy finally home!
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Matthew did well, and though like many other heart patient babies he struggled to put weight on, he was never a sickly child, he loved playing trains with his dad, attended a normal nursery and lit up our life.
We always knew there would be further surgery, and were put on the waiting list. In April 2005, we got the phonecall! I was 34 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child and was told to pack for a fortnight - just in case! We went into hospital on the 19th April and the operation took place on the 21st April 2005. I will always remember that as the last day I had MY Matthew, the last day he spoke to me, the last day he smiled...
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At first it appeared the surgery had been a success. The surgeons were pleased and thought that he wouldnt need anything else for many more years. However, in ITU they were having trouble stabilising him with his blood pressure, heart rate and temp all over the place. At almost midnight we were finally told he was more stable and to go over the parent accomodation, Ronald McDonald house, for some sleep.
At 1.40am the phone rang! ITU said to go straight over. A 2 minute walk later and they said they were struggling...Matthew would have to go on an ECMO heart bypass machine to give him a complete rest and then after a few days they would start to withdraw it. Its a huge task to put someone on ECMO, it takes a surgical team, and the patient has to be paralysed and raised above the machine to let gravity do the work - there are very few of these machines in the country and they need 2 specially trained nurses to operate them at any one time.
Anyway, i've digressed again, we waited in the small blue family room until they finally reappeared. Matthew had suffered cardiac arrest while they were moving him and had to be resusitated for 20 minutes but he was finally put up on what I would call the "princess and the pea" bed on his ECMO machine and the only way you could see him was to stand on a stool - not easy at 34 weeks pregnant!
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We had so many disasters over the next couple of weeks - the pump on the ECMO machine broke and had to be hand cranked, Matthew had infections and fluid buildups in his chest causing huge pressures on his heart etc etc. Finally they started to withdraw the drugs and machines, but after several days he still had not regained consiousness and they decided there was a problem - an MRI revealed "severely depressed" brain function. Words cannot describe our heartbreak & devastation.
As my due date came & went we continued to live at Ronald McDonald house and spend all day every day in ITU with Matthew. The nurses daily cries of "Are you still here?" were met with "Well, i dont mind cos its so much easier while I am still pregnant!" Eventually, I was induced and our daughter Abbie was born at 5.13am on 15th June at the Queen mums, about 200 yards from her brother, weighing 9lb!
Having had to go home once before without a baby, I refused to do it again. As soon as we were discharged from the Queens mums we moved out of Ronald McDonald House and went home, 8 weeks after we left it, and continued to visit Matthew in Glasgow almost every day from our home in West Lothian.
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Matthews condition continued to be unstable and he remained on the ventilatior - with the occasional trial off - for several months. The nurses were great - they would take him out of bed and into his car seat which he appeared to enjoy, they would leave his clothes so I could dress him when I came in, they would take his baby sister with them on their breaks so I could have time alone to read Matthew a story in peace etc But every time he came off the ventilator our hopes were raised , only to be dashed again a few hours later.
Finally, Matthew was moved from ITU to HDU, and after a few days without his ventillator was moved up to a neurological ward where he spent his 2nd birthday. Breathing on his own with only oxygen for assistance was such progress, but his condition was never stable and his responses to stimuli minimal. However, it allowed me to have precious pictures of my two babies together.
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On 24th October 2005, I visited like any other day - we played with Abbie, had stories, sang songs etc but his colour was never good and was remarked upon by myself & staff alike. Now, normally I would try and leave at 3.30pm or get stuck on the M8 for 2 hours - not fun with a new baby - but on this day for some reason I just had to stay - Matthews colour wasnt great & he had just had his medication so I wanted to wait until after the rush hour to see if the medication worked.
At 4pm his heartrate suddenly dropped - but the staff reassured me it was the medication kicking in. Suddenly, something was wrong. We were rushed into a side recuss room. ITU was called. His dad was called - and given a police escort from work to the hospital. The staff worked so incredibly hard to keep Matthew going until his dad arrived so he could say Goodbye - which they did and for which we shall be eternally grateful. But Matthew had to go and he died peacefully in our arms at 6.10pm.
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Our beautiful, longed for, first born son taken to heaven - our only comfort that his pain and suffering finally over - but we miss you so much Matthew and wish it didnt have to be..
Matthews baby sister was just over 4 months when he died, and now Matthew also has a brother Callum born 5th November 2006 at 3.30pm weighing 10lb 14.5oz, and new baby brother Lewis born 4th April 2009 at 3.41am, weighing 9lb 30z!
Its amazing how many people seem to think "Oh they've got another boy now, they will be fine". But as any parent of an angel knows - it just doesnt work like that! Our hearts are broken forever and though held together with sticky tape, they will never be complete again.
A Cluster of golden memories,
sprayed with a million tears,
wishing God had spared you
for just a few more years.
To your resting place we visit,
place our flowers there with care,
But no-one knows our heartache
as we turn and leave you there...
Sleep tight our darling boy - now a shining star - we miss you every day! With all our love always
Mummy, Daddy, Abbie, Callum, Uncle DJ, Granny & Granpa, Granny Grandad & all the rest of the family inc Auntie Gillian, Tom & your best pal Caitlyn. xxxx
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PS Darling Matthew - Look after baby Thomas for Auntie Gillian - though Im sure you are already - I can just see you both playing trains together and running round heaven causing havoc....
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SENDING YOU A BIG BEAR HUG....
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LOVE ALWAYS YVONNE JACK'S MUM XXX.
Bless you
I've just read your story and wanted to say how brave you and your family are, your Matthew was a fighter and be sure to know he is with you and your other children every step of their waking day, I send you love and and happiness and hope that your story touches other peoples hearts like it did mine with love x x x
♩♪♫♬ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♩♪♫♬
♫♬ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♫♬
♫♬ HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR MATTHEW ♫♬
♫♬ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU . ♫♬
-♩♪♫♬ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ♩♪♫♬
•:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:••:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:••:*:• •:*:• •:*:•
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•:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:••:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:••:*:• •:*:• •:*:•
☆SLEEP TIGHT ☆ ANGEL ☆ KEEP SHINING BRIGHT ☆
•:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:••:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:• •:*:••:*:• •:*:• •
LOVE & HUGS ALWAYS
YVONNE JACK'S MUM XXX.
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Tributes For Week Commencing 1st May 2011
___()''""()…All
__("( 'o', )….Our
__(")(")(,,)…..Angels
______()''""() …..Are
_____("( 'o', )…….Precious
_____(")(")(,,)………To Us
Monday
You were my Angel,
But angels were too few.
God needed Angels,
And so he sent for you.
Tuesday
Smile of an Angel,
With a twinkle in your eye.
I'll remember you forever,
Only for now, I'll say goodbye.
Wednesday
Laughter came so easy,
To someone with your smile.
I was lucky to have known you,
And loved you for a while.
Thursday
I borrowed you from heaven,
Now you must return.
Of all the lessons in my life,
This is the hardest one to learn.
Friday
A Silent Tear By Gaynor Llewellyn
Just close your eyes and you will see
All the memories that you have of me
Just sit and relax and you will find
I'm really still there inside your mind
Don't cry for me now I'm gone
For I am in the land of song
There is no pain, there is no fear
So dry away that silent tear
Don't think of me in the dark and cold
For here I am, no longer old
I'm in that place that's filled with love
Known to you all, as "UP ABOVE"
Saturday
It's a Time of Heartfelt Sadness
It's a time of heartfelt sadness
When a loved one passes on
But know your loved one lives in joy
And peace where he (or she) has gone
Oh how much he will be missed
That's where the sadness lies
But others who have missed him
now rejoice in Heaven's skies
We know one day we'll join him
Because our time on earth will flee
We'll then live with him forever
Throughout all eternity
--By Ron Tranmer ---
Sunday
I Have a Place in Heaven
I have a place in heaven
Please don't sing sad songs for me,
Forget your grief and fears,
For I am in a perfect place
Away from pain and tears.
It's far away from hunger
And hurt and want and pride,
I have a place in Heaven
With the Master at my side.
My life on earth was very good,
As earthly life can go,
But Paradise is so much more
Than anyone can know.
My heart is filled with happiness
And sweet rejoicing, too.
To walk with God is perfect peace,
A joy forever new.
Author Unknown
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............(@)(@)
......(@)(@)(@)(@)…Thoughts
...(@)(@)(@)(@)(@)….Today
....(@).(@).(@).(@)…Memories
.......(@)..(@)..(@)....…..Forever
.........(@)(@)(@)
...........(@)|(@)......Angela ~ Christopher's
...............)..|.(......…….Very
..............(......)....……….Proud
..............(......)....………….Mum
.............(____)........
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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MATTHEW XXX.
SENDING YOU A BIG BEAR HUG....
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LOVE ALWAYS YVONNE JACK'S MUM XXX.
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. . . .. .. _.-ﺜ-._
. . . . . ..|. . . . |....Have
............|. . . . |........A
... . . ....|. . . . | ........Nice
. . . . . ..|. . . . | ............Day
. . . . . ..|. . . . |................Special
. . . . .. [♥ღ ღ♥].....................Angel
...........♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
.......... ♥.... αℓωαуѕ...♥
...........♥......αη∂........♥
...........♥..ƒσяєνєя...♥
...........♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥ A tender rose ჱܓ a tender kiss x
♥ For our Angels that we miss,
♥ Up above is where you are,
♥ In our thoughts your never far ♥
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...........Thoughts Today, Memories Forever
.....….Angela Christopher’s Very Proud Mum
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.♥ ~ANGELS~ ♥
.................ღ ~ANGELS~ ♥…G
.......................ღ ~ANGELS~♥…O
...........................ღ~ANGELS~ ♥…O
..............................ღ ~ANGELS~ ♥…D
..............................ღ ~ANGELS~ ♥
............................ღ~ANGELS~ ♥…N
........................ღ ~ANGELS~ ♥…I
..................ღ~ANGELS~ ♥…..G
.............ღ~ANGELS~ ♥……H
.........ღ ~ANGELS~ ♥…….T
.....ღ ~ANGELS~♥
..ღ.............................ღ....ღ ~ANGELS~ ♥…S
ღ..........................ღ...........ღ ~ANGELS~♥….W
.ღ......................ღ................ღ~ANGELS~ ♥...E
..ღ...................ღ..................ღ~ANGELS~ ♥..E
...ღ......................................ღ~ANGELS~ ♥..T
.....ღ...................................ღ~ANGELS~ ♥..
........ღ..............................ღ ~ANGELS~ ♥..D
...........ღ.........................ღ~ANGELS~ ♥..R
..............ღ....................ღ~ANGELS~ ♥..E
..................ღ.............ღ~ANGELS~ ♥..A
.....................ღ.......ღ~ANGELS~♥…M
.......................ღ..ღ~ANGELS~ ♥….S
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...........Thoughts Today, Memories Forever
.....….Angela Christopher’s Very Proud Mum
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Tributes For Week Commencing 31st January
_____-:|:-______ $….Special
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FOR MONDAY
ღ ♥ ღ As Long As We Can See You
ღ ♥ ღ Through The Windows Of Our Eye's
ღ ♥ ღ We Promise You Our Sweet Angel
ღ ♥ ღ True Love Will Never Die
FOR TUESDAY
ღ ♥ ღ Just like a special angel
ღ ♥ ღ God wrapped you in His care
ღ ♥ ღ And took you off to heaven
ღ ♥ ღ To live with Him, up there.
FOR WEDNESDAY
ღ ♥ ღ Angel, I'm lighting this candle
ღ ♥ ღ For you just to say,
ღ ♥ ღ You're loved ,missed and cherished
ღ ♥ ღ With each passing day
FOR THURSDAY
ღ ♥ ღ Have A Lovely Day In Heaven
ღ ♥ ღ May Your Day Be Filled With Love
ღ ♥ ღ You Are So Precious
ღ ♥ ღ To Us All Our Angels Up Above
FOR FRIDAY
HEAVEN
Heaven must be a peaceful place
Where everyone will find
Sweet comfort for the spirit
And contentment for the mind.
Heaven must be a joyful place
Where pain and sadness end,
Where cares are left behind,
And every soul becomes a friend.
Heaven must be the perfect place
All hearts are dreaming of,
For only heaven is lovely enough
For the cherished souls we love.
UNKNOWN
FOR SATURDAY
Ocean Lament
Everything, EVERYTHING, speaks your name
Bringing back memories of joy, and pain.
Watching the water, the waves that roll
Feeling you pour through my very soul.
I search and I search and hope to find
One single footprint you left behind.
Can you see me, and do you know
The longing and sorrow of missing you so?
I look down at my shadow and think about you
Still going with me in all that I do.
At times I am walking on such a thin line,
Alone on this journey that's unwillingly mine.
Oh, warmth of the sun in blue sky above,
Just send me one ray from this child that I love!
The gulls circle madly, their cries are my voice--
"Why did this happen? Why was there no choice?"
Oh waves, cleanse my sorrow at least for today.
B. Walker
April 5, 2001
FOR SUNDAY
When I have no one to turn to
And I am feeling kind of low
When there is no one here to talk to
And no where I really want to go
I search deep within myself
It is the love inside my heart
That lets me know my Angels are there
Even though we are many miles apart
A smile then appears upon my face
And the sun begins to shine
I hear a voice, so soft and sweet
Saying, 'Everything will be just fine'
It may seem that I am alone
But I am never by myself at all
Whenever I need my Angels near
All I have to do is call
An Angel's love is always true
On that you can always depend
They will always stand behind you
And will always be your friend
--Unknown
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………………….Thoughts Today, Memories Forever
……………….Angela Christopher’s Very Proud Mum
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Tributes For Week Commencing 17th January
____*♥*______*♥*
_*♥*__ *♥*_*♥*__*♥* Always
*♥*_____*♥* _____ *♥*
*♥*_____________*♥* In
_*♥*___________*♥*
___*♥*_______*♥* My
_____*♥*____*♥*
_______*♥*♥*Heart
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FOR MONDAY
Your gentle face and patient smile
With sadness we recall
You had a kindly word for each
And died beloved by all.
FOR TUESDAY
In our hearts your memory lingers,
Sweetly tender, fond and true,
There is not a day,
That we do not think of you.
FOR WEDNESDAY
Your life was a blessing
Your memory a treasure...
You are loved beyond words
And missed beyond measure...
FOR THURSDAY
You are not forgotten loved one
Nor will you ever be.
As long as life and memory last
We will remember thee.
FOR FRIDAY
After Glow
I'd like the memory of me
To be a happy one.
I'd like to leave an afterglow
Of smiles when life is done.
I'd like to leave an echo
Whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times
And bright and sunny days
I'd like the tears
Of those who grieve,
To dry before the sun
Of happy memories that I leave
When life is done.
FOR SATURDAY
I'm Free
Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard Him call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way,
I found that peace at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship started, a laugh, a kiss,
Ah yes, these things I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine to tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savoured much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now; He set me free.
FOR SUNDAY
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not here to see...
If the sun should rise and find your
Eyes filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today...
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you...
And each time you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand...
That Jesus came and called my name,
And took me by the hand.
He said my place was ready
In Heaven far above...
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart...
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
……………Thoughts Today, Memories Forever
………….Angela Christopher’s Very Proud Mum
♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥AXC♥
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